Robin Graham

Awful Jokes

My feeling about joke telling is that it generally does not have a place in Laughter Session.

This is because it usually involves someone who wants to be the centre of attention. This person is often the one who finds it hardest to "let go", who says that they will not join in Laughter Session, and that they cannot fake laughing (even if it is good for them).

It also requires other people to give their attention to something and someone else, rather than being involved in their own process of playing and letting go.

Worst of all is the fact that what one person thinks is funny may be offensive or not at all funny to another person.

That said, maybe the people in the Laughter Session might want a funny image or joke in their mind to help them relax into laughter. I sometimes have the image of John Prescott with his trousers by his ankles, about to sit on a banana. This may not be very funny to you, but it makes me smile.

Here are some jokes sent to me on the internet which might bring a smile. But you might also find them offensive. They may illustrate my concern over jokes (yet some of them might bring a smile):

  • Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here."
  • Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
  • A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
  • A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
  • A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one.
  • A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
  • Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • A seal walks into a club...
  • A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of best" he says to the bar man, Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes" the old man replies "do you want a pint?" "No, ta. I`ve got one `ere."
  • A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
  • A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
  • Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
  • A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
  • There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
  • A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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